I'll see everyone in about a week!
The #Dogs’ July 2024 Vet Trip
2 years ago
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I've Been Rated!
Lets101 Quizzes - Blog Quizzes
According to the MPAA (edited for blogs):
A PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should read it, as some material might not be suited for them. A PG-13 blog may go beyond the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, adult activities or other elements, but does not reach the restricted R category.
The theme of the blog by itself will not result in a rating greater than PG-13, although depictions of activities related to a mature theme may result in a restricted rating for the blog. Any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating (at least I'm not into that). More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating, but such nudity in a PG-13 rated blog generally will not be sexually oriented (yes it will). There may be depictions of violence in a PG-13 blog (only when there are squirrels involved), but generally not both realistic and extreme or persistent violence.
A blog’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive (I do not cuss!), initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating (again, I do not cuss!), as must even one of those words used in a sexual context. The Rating Board nevertheless may rate such a blog PG-13 if, based on a special vote by a two-thirds majority, the Raters feel that most American parents would believe that a PG-13 rating is appropriate because of the context or manner in which the words are used or because the use of those words in the blog is inconspicuous.
Well! Now that we have that all cleared up, those of you that are under 13, must stop reading right now!
Seriously.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Happy Earth Day!
So, is anyone doing anything special for Earth Day? I'm going to do my part by exhaling lots of CO2.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Gift From Jeannie
Ok, none of these photos are very good, but it seems every spot of light in my apartment isn't condusive to picture taking. I flipped my mouse pad over to give some contrast to the envelope and cards, but if it's not focusing well, that doesn't make much difference. I had to turn the flash off, because it was washing out the image so you couldn't see anything. You can't really tell in this picture of the envelope, but the sticker says "Good Mail From Jeannie" and it has an embossed Love stamp on the flap. What a cute personal touch!
(Told ya, the pictures suck!) This is the card I won, it says Bubble Queen in the top right corner, and the ribbons says Celebrate together fun happy laugh friends giggle. The bubbles are all sparkly and I'm totally jealous of that bath. I wish my bubble baths were that nice! And of course, don't forget the pink flower in the top left corner, matching color to the Bubble Queen lettering.
Inside the card was the Bath & Body Works card I also won. Free Signature Collection travel-size item of your choice and save 20% on your entire purchase. Hmmmm, I can't wait to go perusing the store for something to buy!
Thank you so much Jeannie! I know it took me a bit to get this done, but I would never forget you and your generosity! You're the best!!!!!!!
(Told ya, the pictures suck!) This is the card I won, it says Bubble Queen in the top right corner, and the ribbons says Celebrate together fun happy laugh friends giggle. The bubbles are all sparkly and I'm totally jealous of that bath. I wish my bubble baths were that nice! And of course, don't forget the pink flower in the top left corner, matching color to the Bubble Queen lettering.
Inside the card was the Bath & Body Works card I also won. Free Signature Collection travel-size item of your choice and save 20% on your entire purchase. Hmmmm, I can't wait to go perusing the store for something to buy!
Thank you so much Jeannie! I know it took me a bit to get this done, but I would never forget you and your generosity! You're the best!!!!!!!Sunday, April 19, 2009
A Belated Award Entry
Thank you IntenseGuy for awarding me this very special and original award. No, I do not have sexy ankles, but I get good pictures of them. Here is Iggy's post with all the winners.
When I'm back out in the land of warm weather and bare skin the end of the month, I'll look for some more sexy ankles to photograph. Thank you again for considering my picture award-worthy.
When I'm back out in the land of warm weather and bare skin the end of the month, I'll look for some more sexy ankles to photograph. Thank you again for considering my picture award-worthy.Saturday, April 18, 2009
The Coat Hanger
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the babysitter what had happened.
The babysitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got off his cycle and asked if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute, the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft, and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again, and with sobbin tears cried out loud,
"Oh thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"
The babysitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got off his cycle and asked if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute, the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft, and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again, and with sobbin tears cried out loud,
"Oh thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"
Weekend Wordle
It's Wordle time! Go here for instructions, and then link back to Last Shreds of Sanity to let her know you're playing along.
I tried really hard to not have worm be the biggest word, but after numerous attempts to re-do it, it was always huge. So I gave up. You'll just have to deal.
I tried really hard to not have worm be the biggest word, but after numerous attempts to re-do it, it was always huge. So I gave up. You'll just have to deal.Monday, April 13, 2009
Four Worms And A Lesson
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - DEAD.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - DEAD.
The third worm in chocolate syrup - DEAD.
The fourth worm in good clean soil - ALIVE.
The Minister asked the congregation:
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - DEAD.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - DEAD.
The third worm in chocolate syrup - DEAD.
The fourth worm in good clean soil - ALIVE.
The Minister asked the congregation:
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tough Choice
Amy Poehler heard about IntenseGuy's love of squirrels, and his tough decision whether to wear a squirrel thong or stick with traditional briefs. After taking the above picture for TV Guide, she sent me the following:
It arrived with a card that says, "I heard you were interested in these things, so I took the squirrel that I posed with for TV Guide (and a few of his friends) and whipped one up for you. I hope that it meets with your approval! Thanks for being a fan, and I hope you watch my new show 'Parks and Recreation'. Much love, Amy Poehler."
It arrived with a card that says, "I heard you were interested in these things, so I took the squirrel that I posed with for TV Guide (and a few of his friends) and whipped one up for you. I hope that it meets with your approval! Thanks for being a fan, and I hope you watch my new show 'Parks and Recreation'. Much love, Amy Poehler."If the squirrel mankini is too warm for you this summer, I'm sure she'll make up a thong for you if you ask nicely.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Happy Easter!
I'm going out to brunch with my aunt and her sister. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!Weekend Wordle
It's Wordle time! Go here for instructions, and then link back to Last Shreds of Sanity to let her know you're playing along. This week I chose the conversation between myself, LadyStyx and IntenseGuy about the various types of underwear.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Spring Is Definitely Here!
Last night was the first game of the season for the Chicago Cubs. They scored early and held off the Houston Astros to win 4-2.
Way to start the season Cubbies! Following are the lyrics and a YouTube video to a classic song all Cubs fans know, "A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request" by Steve Goodman.
By the shore's of old Lake Michigan
Where the "hawk wind" blows so cold
An old Cub fan lay dying
In his midnight hour that tolled
Round his bed, his friends had all gathered
They knew his time was short
And on his head they put this bright blue cap
From his all-time favorite sport
He told them, "It's late and its getting dark in here"
And I know its time to go
But before I leave the line-up
Boys, there's just one thing I'd like to know
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League
Told his friends "You know the law of averages says:
Anything will happen that can
"That's what it says"
But the last time the Cubs won a National League pennant
Was the year we dropped the bomb on Japan
"The Cubs made me a criminal
Sent me down a wayward path
They stole my youth from me
(that's the truth)
I'd forsake my teachers
To go sit in the bleachers
In flagrant truancy
And then one thing led to another
and soon I'd discovered alcohol, gambling, dope
football, hockey, lacrosse, tennis
But what do you expect,
When you raise up a young boy's hopes
And then just crush 'em like so many paper beer cups.
Year after year after year
after year, after year, after year, after year, after year
'Til those hopes are just so much popcorn
for the pigeons beneath the 'L' tracks to eat
He said, "You know I'll never see Wrigley Field, anymore before my eternal rest
So if you have your pencils and your score cards ready,
and I'll read you my last request
He said, "Give me a double header funeral in Wrigley Field
On some sunny weekend day (no lights)
Have the organ play the "National Anthem"
and then a little 'na, na, na, na, hey hey, hey, Goodbye'
Make six bullpen pitchers, carry my coffin
and six ground keepers clear my path
Have the umpires bark me out at every base
In all their holy wrath
Its a beautiful day for a funeral, Hey Ernie lets play two!
Somebody go get Jack Brickhouse to come back,
and conduct just one more interview
Have the Cubbies run right out into the middle of the field,
Have Keith Moreland drop a routine fly
Give everybody two bags of peanuts and a frosty malt
And I'll be ready to die.
Build a big fire on home plate out of your Louisville Sluggers baseball bats,
And toss my coffin in
Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow
From the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind
When my last remains go flying over the left-field wall
Will bid the bleacher bums adieu
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue.
The dying man's friends told him to cut it out
They said stop it that's an awful shame
He whispered, "Don't Cry, we'll meet by and by near the Heavenly Hall of Fame
He said, "I've got season's tickets to watch the Angels now,
So its just what I'm going to do
He said, "but you the living, you're stuck here with the Cubs,
So it's me that feels sorry for you!"
And he said, "Ahh Play, play that lonesome losers tune,
That's the one I like the best"
And he closed his eyes, and slipped away
What we got is the Dying Cub Fan's Last Request
And here it is
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League
Way to start the season Cubbies! Following are the lyrics and a YouTube video to a classic song all Cubs fans know, "A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request" by Steve Goodman.
By the shore's of old Lake Michigan
Where the "hawk wind" blows so cold
An old Cub fan lay dying
In his midnight hour that tolled
Round his bed, his friends had all gathered
They knew his time was short
And on his head they put this bright blue cap
From his all-time favorite sport
He told them, "It's late and its getting dark in here"
And I know its time to go
But before I leave the line-up
Boys, there's just one thing I'd like to know
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League
Told his friends "You know the law of averages says:
Anything will happen that can
"That's what it says"
But the last time the Cubs won a National League pennant
Was the year we dropped the bomb on Japan
"The Cubs made me a criminal
Sent me down a wayward path
They stole my youth from me
(that's the truth)
I'd forsake my teachers
To go sit in the bleachers
In flagrant truancy
And then one thing led to another
and soon I'd discovered alcohol, gambling, dope
football, hockey, lacrosse, tennis
But what do you expect,
When you raise up a young boy's hopes
And then just crush 'em like so many paper beer cups.
Year after year after year
after year, after year, after year, after year, after year
'Til those hopes are just so much popcorn
for the pigeons beneath the 'L' tracks to eat
He said, "You know I'll never see Wrigley Field, anymore before my eternal rest
So if you have your pencils and your score cards ready,
and I'll read you my last request
He said, "Give me a double header funeral in Wrigley Field
On some sunny weekend day (no lights)
Have the organ play the "National Anthem"
and then a little 'na, na, na, na, hey hey, hey, Goodbye'
Make six bullpen pitchers, carry my coffin
and six ground keepers clear my path
Have the umpires bark me out at every base
In all their holy wrath
Its a beautiful day for a funeral, Hey Ernie lets play two!
Somebody go get Jack Brickhouse to come back,
and conduct just one more interview
Have the Cubbies run right out into the middle of the field,
Have Keith Moreland drop a routine fly
Give everybody two bags of peanuts and a frosty malt
And I'll be ready to die.
Build a big fire on home plate out of your Louisville Sluggers baseball bats,
And toss my coffin in
Let my ashes blow in a beautiful snow
From the prevailing 30 mile an hour southwest wind
When my last remains go flying over the left-field wall
Will bid the bleacher bums adieu
And I will come to my final resting place, out on Waveland Avenue.
The dying man's friends told him to cut it out
They said stop it that's an awful shame
He whispered, "Don't Cry, we'll meet by and by near the Heavenly Hall of Fame
He said, "I've got season's tickets to watch the Angels now,
So its just what I'm going to do
He said, "but you the living, you're stuck here with the Cubs,
So it's me that feels sorry for you!"
And he said, "Ahh Play, play that lonesome losers tune,
That's the one I like the best"
And he closed his eyes, and slipped away
What we got is the Dying Cub Fan's Last Request
And here it is
Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Winter In Northern Illinois
We got snow this evening, about 2-3 inches from what I can tell. What happened to winter only lasting 6 more weeks? Where's Spring? I need Spring!!!!
It's winter in Northern Illinois
the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 32 below!
Oh, how I love Illinois
when the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter air
and your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Illinois
because I'm frozen to the ground.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Weekend Wordles
It's Wordle time! Go here for instructions, and then link back to Last Shreds of Sanity to let her know you're playing along. This week I chose the text about the wine advertisement I posted this week.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
His Fault? Or Is It Her Fault?
Following is a page from today's Meijer ad. I just couldn't resist showing you the wine they are pimping this week.
His Fault White or Her Fault Red. I'm assuming the women would drink the white, because it's always his fault. That would leave the red to the men, who falsely believe it's her fault, even though it's never her fault. I would go and buy a bottle, but I currently have WAY too many bottles of wine already. Anyone want to come over and help me drink it?
Speaking of wine...
I was walking down the street when I was stopped by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out $10.00 and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS?!?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."
The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
I said, "That's ok. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."
His Fault White or Her Fault Red. I'm assuming the women would drink the white, because it's always his fault. That would leave the red to the men, who falsely believe it's her fault, even though it's never her fault. I would go and buy a bottle, but I currently have WAY too many bottles of wine already. Anyone want to come over and help me drink it?
Speaking of wine...
I was walking down the street when I was stopped by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out $10.00 and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS?!?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."
The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
I said, "That's ok. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."
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