Everyone now knows IntenseGuy's fascination with underwear, and the fact that he jokes about only owning one pair, right?
I think it's more than a fascination, and several of us never miss an opportunity to joke with him about various types of underwear he could choose to own.
Saturday evening, Iggy made the mistake of sending an email to myself and Ladystyx. The email was a link to an article in Yahoo about some new underwear, made by the Japanese, that's being tested in space. Iggy sent us the link and refrained from commenting, so Ladystyx and I started emailing our own comments back and forth, with Iggy copied on all of them.
Lo and behold, he woke up the next morning to 26 new messages, most of them from us. With his and LadyStyx's permission, following is a replay of the conversation.
Iggy: Submitted for your reading pleasure...and without comment
LS: *HOWLZ in laffter!!!* But do they come in OCHA or squirrel print for you?
Me: Very good question, Styxie! This would also reduce the amount of time you're forced to stand in front of the washer and dryer nekkid waiting for your undies to get clean.
LS: On the other hand, if he stands in front of the dryer vent while he's waiting....during the winter it just might be the toastiest spot in the house! Of course, even with the stink-free undies (whether OCHA, squirrel or even Spiderman print)...he could always just stand there nekkid anyhow for old times' sake... .oO(you think he's sorry he showed us this yet? *laffs*)
Me: Heck no! He's not sorry, this is probably the best laugh he's had all day! Definitely better standing in the toastiest spot than in the coldest spot, that's for sure. Especially when wearing no undies. Spiderman print...now that's something I haven't seen on a grown man in, like, forever!
LS: Are you sure? LOL! (about the not sorry....not about the best laugh all day because we certainly KNOW it more than likely HAS been!)
Me: No, he's not sorry, because if nothing else, he gave us a fun conversation tonight, lol.
LS: Aint that the truth! AND he got a snazzy pair of new drawers to boot (see attached photo on last communication...)!!!
Me: Ummm, I didn't even notice you attached a picture with the last email. And now that I've looked at it, how do you know he wears boxer briefs?
LS: I dont...those were the first ones that came up in the search :-) For all I know, he could be all freaky and enjoy a thong.....
Me: Then there wouldn't be much needing to have a pattern.
LS: Shit....a single cone and some duct tape would just about do it then.....
Me: Squirrel "pattern" would just be a tail and some string?
LS: nah...the tail would be the waist band....their cheeks would be the pouch. Good thing about it is that one size would fit all (have you SEEN how many nuts those buggers can hold??)
Me: Ok, you completely took any ability for me to respond away. There's just nothing I can add to that. I won't even begin to think about how the Spiderman theme would work.
LS: Perfect underwear for athletes and men on the go.... whether he's swimming, biking or simply taking a walk around the block... these underwear are light and airy enough for ventillation (the boys gotta breathe too ya know), yet there's webbing strong enough for support.
Me: I would imagine they'd get a lot of use then, seeing as how there are a lot of long walks. In the heat of summer, the ventilation will be appreciated. And plenty of support as he chases for Charlie or OCHA pictures.
LS: Especially with as humid as it gets in the summer in most areas of the country. ;-)
Me: And for those days, when he wants to cool off with a quick dip in the river, it'll dry quickly too.
LS: heh heh heh
By now it was after midnight CDT, and I was heading off to bed. I can just imagine Iggy's reaction as he read our emails. In fact, we all get to see what his brain was coming up with, as we read his reply to our conversation.
Iggy: Oh my. I went to sofa early last night as I was still bothered by a lingering headache and this morning I find my e-mail inbox overflowing with 26 new messages! And most of them are from you two.
LMAO at all your comments about the "miracle" Japanese "no stink" fabric and at LadyStyx's marketing graphic. Oh I am green in envy and want a pair like that NOW!
Oh, and by the way, I've never thought much of owning a pair of OCHA patterned or Squirrel "bulging cheek" underwear but now, you know, I will think of little else! Imagine if my only pair of unnies were also lucky ones?!
There are several "burning" questions in my mind - which will I prefer, squirrels or ochas? boxers or briefs? especially if I can only afford one pair. Will the material come in permament press? How will I dispose of the pair I have now? Will I need to follwo some sort of Hazmat procedure? And finally, should I post a blog entry on this e-mail dialogue ala The Wife of Riley and her text messages?
I will have to think about how to replace standing in front of the warm dryer on cold wintry days. Life gives so few pleasure and this is one of them. Sometimes, when i feel decadent, I fold over a thick beach towel and place it on top of the dryer and (looks around to see if anyone is watching), sit on it! Ohhhhh, oooohhh, oooooooooooooooooooooooooh, baby! There is only one thing better and that is... yeah you know, Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh....a nice hot cup of chocolate with marshmellows to sip while you sit there.
:) You two are quite a team. LMAO at all your e-mails! You've brightened my weekend beyond words. :)
I was sorting through some things I purchased last night at Target, and I found something in one of the bags that I did not purchase. Well, I did purchase it, but I have no idea how I purchased it or how it ended up in my bag.
Rimmel London Soft Kohl Kajal Eye Liner Pencil in Jungle Green.
I've already paid for it, but will never use it. If anyone's interested in it, I'll mail it to you. I'd hate to throw away perfectly good eye liner if it could be used.
It's Wordle time! Go here for instructions, and then link back to Last Shreds of Sanity to let her know you're playing along. This week I chose my post about the trail signs in Wisconsin on my way back from Minnesota. And if you look closely, there might even be a word or two in there about Manatees.
Little Johnny's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib, he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"
"Yes," the mother replied. "We are so thankful. The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great," said Johnny, " 'cause he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses."
*3/27 Update: I've imbedded another copy of the video for those who haven't seen it yet.*
I just had to post this. From the beginning I have recognized that Adam is one of the most talented artists to appear on American Idol. He has not been one of my favorites, but tonight's performance sealed the deal. With the following performance, despite there still being 9 other contestants, has just sealed his victory on Season 8 of American Idol.
Just a quick post to let everyone know that I haven't been around due to a strained muscle in my lower back. I was off work 2-1/2 days due to my throat, then another 2 days due to my back. It's doing better now, but it's still not real comfortable to sit at the computer for more than a few minutes at a time. I'm hoping things will continue to improve, despite the slow speed. Once I'm feeling better and can sit here comfortably, I'll be back posting.
The Doctor: Tomorrow, I'm calling the doctor. I've had a sore throat since Thursday afternoon, it hurts to swallow, and it hasn't gotten any better. I've also had a low grade fever the last three nights by bedtime. I'm pretty sure it isn't tonsilitis, since my tonsils were removed the summer between kindergarten and first grade. One of them was supposedly growing back, so it is "possible" that it is infected. I really hope it's nothing serious.
The Good Samaritan: Today while driving on the interstate to my aunt's house, I witnessed a Jeep Cherokee spin out of control in front of me, going from the right lane, across to the left shoulder, facing opposite of traffic. It's been raining cats and dogs all weekend, and I was noticing some hydroplaning myself. I immediately pulled over to the shoulder opposite her and called 911. She appeared unhurt, just shook up. She was very fortunate there is a wire type fence along the grassy divider between the east and west bound lanes, otherwise she very well may have gone down into the divider and flipped. Once I was off the phone, in the pouring rain (with just my socks on.......I'm kidding Punkn!) I ran across the road to make sure she was ok and to let her know I had called for help. Her entire front bumper was off, but the airbag didn't deploy, and she was just freaked out by what happened. She thanked me for helping, and I went on my way.
My good friend IntenseGuy got this book for me while he was in Florida. Before he left, he asked if there was anything he could get me while he was down there. Besides warm weather, I asked for a Manatee. I've always wanted to see them, and having one for a pet would be AWESOME! Ok, so it would have to be a baby. And it would probably only fit in my bathtub for about 2 weeks before I'd have to give it up. But at least I would have one for 2 weeks, right??? I know you'd all be jealous!
Following are a couple rest stop signs next to a closed trail that I really, really hoped would be open. I remember walking up this trail with my sister years ago on our way to MN. Instead I had to just get pictures of the two signs. And it was so cold, that my camera only let me take the two pictures, then it shut off. I was trying to get a picture of the trail itself. I trudged through three inches of snow, in my sneakers, to get these pictures.
For Tori, the signs say: Black River Valley - White pine trees were growing here when Columbus made his voyage to America. In 1819 the first attempts to saw lumber were unsuccessful, but in 1839 Jacob Spaulding founded Black River Falls by erecting the first permanent sawmill and settlement on the Black River. This valley contained the largest pine trees, some of them up to six feet across at ground level, and the most pine trees per township in the state. Before logging ended in 1905, more than fifty sawmills had been in operation in Jackson County. Accurate records kept over a period of forty years reveal that enough lumber was sawed to have built a plank road nine feet wide and four inches thick around the world. Iron Ore was smelted in Black River Falls in 1856 and again in 1886, but the old process proved too expensive and was abandoned. The Jackson County Iron Company, a subsidiary of Inland Steel, built a modern processing plant in 1969 that ship 2800 tons of taconite pellets every day of the year to it's blast furnaces in Indiana. The mine buildings and open pit mine are visible from the overlook on top of this scenic Bell Mound.
(Note, the blast furnaces in Indiana that are referenced are no longer Inland Steel. That company was bought by Mittal Steel, which then merged with Arcelor Steel, and became ArcelorMittal. And I believe they only have one blast furnace working these days.)
Black River Forest Fire: On the dry, windy afternoon of April 27, 1977 (hey, my birthday), a forest fire started south of Black River Falls. The fire quickly became a raging crown fire, traveling through the tops of the dense pine forest. This mound, directly in the path of the fire, was burned in just a few minutes time. In the 12 hours it took for the fire to run its course, 14 homes and 17,590 acres of forest land had burned, the village of Millston was spared because of a last minute wind shift. Most of this area has since been reclaimed naturally by oak and aspen which sprout vigorously after a fire. A small portion of the area was planted with pine, a more valuable tree species. This area has become prime wildlife habitat supporting tremendous deer and small game populations. In 50 years all visual reminders of the Black River Falls fire will be gone.
I don't remember if my sister or I ever took any pictures from the top of the overlook. But if I ever find them, I'm sure they will be a sight to see.
It's time for the Weekend Wordle. Here are the very simple instructions:
01) Go to Wordle.net to create your Wordle. It's lots of fun. You can tweak the colors, fonts and such. 02) Post it on your blog with a link to Last Shreds Of Sanity. 03) Once that's done, go back to Last Shreds Of Sanity and sign the Mr Linky that she has up. Dont forget to leave a comment on the sites you visit!!
Here's my wordle that I created using my catch-up post from last night.
BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) You might say Bismarck Police have something to chew on. They report someone stole a $595 gumball machine from a Dan's Supermarket store. Lt. Randy Ziegler said the theft was reported Friday after the vendor discovered it missing. Also stolen were a $11.95 sign, $65.10 in gumballs and $212.50 in change. Ziegler says surveillance tapes show a man about 20 years old in a black hooded sweatshirt putting the machine in a gray passenger vehicle and driving off. Information from: Bismarck Tribune, http://www.bismarcktribune.com (Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.) APNP 01-27-09 0757CST
I'm finally caught up with the blogs I follow, except for just one, which I'll go read very shortly. In the meantime, before I forgot, I wanted to post to let everyone know what I've been up to.
The trip to MN was very nice. I love seeing my cousins, even though they're between seven and 12 years older than me. They all have kids, and one is a grandma. The memorial for my uncle was very nice, about 30 minutes long. That night we went to my cousin Carole's house for pizza. The whole family showed up. Four cousins and their spouses, my aunt, me, seven of the nine grandchildren, one spouse of a grandchild, one boyfriend of a grandchild, and one great-grandchild. So about 20 of us hanging out. A really nice way to end the evening.
The drive up and back was not a lot of fun. My back has been bothering me for a week and a half now, and sitting in my car for six to seven hours doesn't help. I stopped at every rest stop just to get out and walk for a few minutes. It never really made anything more comfortable, it just made it possible for me to get out and walk at the next rest stop.
I thought it would be nice, having a short week of only four days, but yesterday afternoon my throat started feeling sore. By the time I went to bed last night, I was shivering, and fearing I had a fever, took my temperature. It was about 99F. Not bad by any means, but enough to make me shiver almost uncontrollably with sweats and a sweatshirt on, under a blanket. I had already taken Ibuprofen for my back, so there was no point taking anything for my fever.
When I woke up this morning, my fever was gone, which I expected, but my throat was worse. And I completely felt like crap. So I called in and left a couple messages for people letting them know I was taking a sick day. That was at 6:30AM, I then went back to sleep until 11:19AM. I've lazed around all day, doing nothing, hoping that I'll be feeling better tomorrow or Sunday.
I'm supposed to go to my aunt's house Sunday for lunch and to see the movie The Watchmen. While I don't want to get anyone sick, I do want to see that movie, so I'm hoping my throat is better and that whatever this is doesn't spread to my nose by then.
Flashback to yesterday morning. While putting my socks on, I heard a bluejay screeching outside. When I turned to see if he was nearby, I saw a charlie on my balcony. When I got up to shoo him away from the bird feeder, I notice the bluejay was AT the feeder. I stood there for a minute, drinking in the wonder at a bluejay at my feeder. Once he flew off, I opened up the sliding door, stuck my arm out to shoo away the squirrel. He just looked at me like I was crazy. So, I opened the door a bit more, stuck half my body out, waved my arm some more, and told him to shoo. He jumped up on the railing and contemplated just how far outside he could entice me.
Making sure I blocked the entrance to my apt, so charlie wouldn't get any ideas about running inside, I stepped all the way out onto the balcony, still in just my socks. Charlie tried to get me to follow him further by leaping from the balcony to the outside ledge of the window in the second bedroom. Knowing that was not far enough to prevent him from returning to his feast of birdseed, I stepped closer to the railing, continuing to tell him to shoo and go away. Finally he gave up, jumped to the tree, scampered down the trunk and bounded away to someplace more quiet. I said goodbye to Charlie, went back inside, closed the door, put my shoes on and went to work. What work he put me through!
Besides the bluejay, I received another sign that spring is coming very soon. No, it wasn't the 60 degree temps today, although that is a good indication. This was another feathered friend, the American Robin. It's the first one I've seen this year, and I know when they show up that spring is on the way. It's so nice now that I'm starting to hear the birds singing outside my window in the morning, instead of the chip chip that I hear mostly in winter (with the occasional chick-a-dee-dee-dee).
I never did post a video of one of this week's Idol performances. I'm really slipping, because there were some really bad ones this week!
Thursday night while watching American Idol, my phone rang in the other room, unbeknownst to me. Afterwards, noticing I had a message on my phone, I checked the caller ID, and realized it was my aunt in MN. I listened to the voice mail message she left me; it was very brief.
I knew what this call was about.
For the last nine years, my uncle has been slowly succumbing to Alzheimers Disease. For almost all of those nine years, my aunt took care of him at their home, where he was most comfortable.
Recently though, he was needing more care than she was able to give. Being 81 years old, neither she nor he are/were spring chickens. It finally got to be too much for her. The decision was made, with the help of their children, to put him in a memory care home nearby.
He appeared to be adjusting ok for the first few days, but then he stopped eating, and wouldn't take his medications. They took him to the emergency room at the hospital, where he was admitted. He stayed there for a couple days, then was moved to a nursing home. After about a day, they refused to deal with him any longer, and returned him to the hospital. From what I've been told, they didn't have the anti-psychotic drug that he had been on, and the alternative they were giving him in the meantime wasn't working all that well. Another nursing home was found that was willing to deal with his problems.
Both my aunt and uncle decided years ago that they didn't want extreme measures taken to keep them alive, if there was no hope for a meaningful recovery. My aunt spoke with the doctors, and they all agreed that he was not going to get any better, and that they weren't going to force-feed him.
Tuesday February 24 2009, about 7:30PM, my Uncle Bill passed away quietly with his wife and daughter by his side. He was 81 years old.
Tomorrow morning, I am starting the long drive to the twin cities for the memorial, to be held at their church on Sunday. I'll return on Monday.
Hopefully my back will handle the trip ok. It's been bothering me all week and I've been taking Ibuprofen 800 mg, but I'm not looking forward to the 7 hour drive. Can you say rest stop? I'll be stopping at every one of them, plus maybe in between if necessary.
I'll catch up on everything when I get home next week.
Tonight was Nick's night. Nick Mitchell aka Normund Gentle was definitely the high point. He's not the best singer, by far. But, he is the most entertaining. Vote For The Worst has picked him this week, like we didn't expect that. He may just make it through on pure entertainment, not talent. Here's the video, you decide.
If you read Blue Ridge Gal's or Punkn's blogs, you know what I'm going to talk about. A contest over at Chronicles of a Country Girl, that is just so awesome!
She has nine pictures, you pick your favorite, leave a comment telling her your pick. Then blog about her contest, leave her a link to your blog, and you get a total of two chances to win. And the pictures are fantastic, I had a hard time choosing!
Matt over at My Side Of The Storydid a post where you put your name into Google and add the word 'needs' after it and see what results you get. You're supposed to list the first 10 things that show up. No searching around for something better.
However, because my first name is the same as the Ex of Charlie Sheen, I got a lot of hits regarding Denise Richards. Kind of hard to post those when they are specifically referring to her.
But I'll try.
1. Denise needs a fame & glory. Maybe not the fame part, I'm happy sitting in the shadows, but the glory...I wouldn't mind a bit of that.
2. Denise needs her mouth wired shut! Hey now! I know I can sometimes talk a lot, but wiring my mouth shut is pretty drastic.
3. Denise needs money? Don't we all? Speaking of money, I need to get some Mega Millions numbers tomorrow after work. Jackpot is over $140 million!
4. Denise needs to take a page from one of the Housewives of the OC. Ummm, no I don't. Really. They aren't all that.
I'm now on page 2 of my google results.
5. Denise needs prayers! Don't we all? I would love to have all my friends praying for me every day. In exchange, I'll pray for all of you. Deal?
Page 3 of Google results.
6. Denise needs a tutor on Flikr. Ummm, I don't have a Flikr account, so I'm not sure what the tutor would be for. Not gonna go where my mind just wandered...
Page 4 of Google results.
7. Denise needs a maid. Why yes I do, thank you so kindly for sharing that with the world! Ok, so I'm not the best housekeeper. But it's just me here, and my motto is: My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.
8. Denise needs to realize. What do I need to realize? That my results suck? That I should change my name if I want interesting answers? That this post is getting boring? That it's almost time for bed and I better hurry this thing up? What?? Just tell me already!
9. Denise needs to move on with her life. That's what I'm trying to do...move on to bed. If I can just find one more thing I need to do, then I can do what I want to do.
Page 5 of Google results. Ok, I am TOTALLY not posting the next one! It's just too disgusting!
Ok, this next one is printable.
10. Denise needs to get over herself. Wow, I didn't think I was like that. Please, someone tell me if this is true. I'll totally change my ways, honest!
So there you have it. I wonder if I'd get better results if I used my middle name? And most of what I found did in fact refer to Denise Richards. I skipped over the ones that said "Denise Richards needs to..." I only picked the ones that used just the first name.
Things have been so slow at work, I tried to burn the place down.
Just kidding, sorta.
Wednesday morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, I heard my cell phone beep at me, letting me know the battery was getting low. Not wanting to go to work all day with my cell phone turned off, I grabbed my charger and planned to charge my phone at work.
It's something I've done before. I plug it in under my desk, let it sit for a few hours, then when it's done, I unplug it and put it back in my purse. It doesn't take much electricity to charge a cell phone, right?
I arrived at work, took my phone and charger out of my purse, crawled under my desk and plugged it in. Because I'm in a cubicle, the outlets are at the bottom of one wall, and there's a metal plate along the bottom to cover and protect all the wiring. All of the outlets in my cubicle are not flush against the metal plate, they are a slight angle, so I know I need to be careful plugging or unplugging anything.
About 2pm, I remembered my phone was still plugged in, I checked it (battery full) unhooked my phone from the charger, and proceeded to pull out the plug from the outlet.
As I'm sure everyone does, I wiggled it ever so slightly to work it out of the slots.
Bad move.
I saw sparks.
The outlet and the metal plate were scorched.
All the electricity to my cubicle was gone.
Shorted out? Fried?
I meekly walked over to our IT department, and explained what happened. They both came over, took a look at it, and determined that I indeed had no electricity in my cubicle.
Fortunately, my computer was plugged in to a surger protector, so that was ok.
While I waited for my boss to get out of a meeting, I began cleaning out the empty cubicle next to me, expecting I'd have to move. At least until they could figure out what happened and fix it if possible.
The drawers were a mess, I tossed so much crap, pulled one drawer all the way out and dumped it upside down. I used Windex on the surface of the desk area to clean up the dust that had accumulated.
By that time my boss was out of his meeting, I explained to him what happened, he told our controller, everyone had to come and look at my desk.
I was really getting some attention now. Not exactly the kind I wanted though.
Since the cord for my surge protector was really long, they decided to set it on top of my desk, behind my monitor, and plug it in on the other side, in the empty cubicle, where there was still electricity.
They got everything plugged back in, and I was back in business. Not that I really had anything to do that afternoon, but at least I could get any emails that might come my way.
Thursday morning, one of the maintenance guys for the building checked the circuits and found out all I did was trip that particular circuit. I didn't actually fry the wiring, which I was really concerned about. With the prospects for 2009 so dismal, the last thing I wanted was to have cost money to the company that wasn't necessary or planned.
So Thursday after lunch, I unplugged everything again, and moved it all back under my desk where it was originally.
Oh, and Wednesday night I stopped at the AT&T store after work to get a new charger, because one of the prongs on mine was melted. There was no way I was going to be able to use it again. They couldn't find a new one for me to buy, but they had one with a phone that had been returned, so I got it for free.
I will NEVER charge my cell phone at work again!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
American Idol Top 36 starts tonight, with the first group of 12. Three stick around, the other nine go home. Who was good enough? I think Alexis Grace was. Here's her performance of "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin.
Things a stressed woman may say at work:
1. Okay, okay! I take it back, Unf*** you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a freakin' ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 25 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is waking up screaming and realizing you haven't gone to sleep yet.
16. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
18. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic, disorder...my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You like like sh*t. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If a**holes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look deeply into my eyes. Do you see on ounce of give-a-sh*t?
