Another one bites the dust. Tom wants kids, has always wanted kids, and wants to be with someone who feels the same way. Unfortunately, I'm still undecided about kids, and now that I'm 37, I'm not sure I want to. I know, I know. Lot's of women are having kids into their 40's these days. But I don't want to be 60 when my kid would be graduating high school. So that's the end of Tom.
I'm resolved to the fact that my experiment was just that, an experiment. And I learned some valuable things from it. One, that I'm too honest sometimes. Two, I'm unsure of what I'm looking for in a man. Three, I'm probably just better off on my own, I better get used to it, and learn to enjoy the rest of my life. No sense being a miserable bitch for however much longer I'm on this earth.
On a more sour note, tomorrow is Mother's Day, actually it's today, since it's now after midnight. I really really don't like Mother's Day. If it weren't for my adopted family, I'd stay in bed on Mother's Day. Everywhere I went today, I saw signs and advertisements for Mother's Day. You'd think someone out there would have compassion for those who aren't a mother, and/or no longer have a mother. All I do on Mother's Day is miss my own mom. No matter how good my adopted mom has been, she's still not my mom. I missed out on so much with my mom, and this day just brings me down.
Tonight was the graduation party for my cousin's girlfriend. She had a LOT of family come from out of town for this. They were all really enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, I just wasn't in much of a celebratory mood tonight. If gas prices weren't so high, I'd take some vacation days and just drive. I don't know where I'd drive, but I'd get away and spend some time thinking about my life, and where I'm going with it.
Anyway, I guess I should go to bed now. I want to be up in time for Alice's and Kerry's streams. And damn, I don't think I'll hear much of Kerry's stream. I have to be in Sycamore at 11:30, and I have to buy flowers and get cash and get gas before heading out there. So that means I have to leave about 10, which means I have to take my shower at about 9, which is when Kerry starts her stream. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The #Dogs’ July 2024 Vet Trip
2 years ago
*BIG HUGS*
ReplyDeleteYou know that Moody Blues song.....I know you're out there somewhere, somewhere? Well, one of these days "he" will just pop into your life and you'll find true love and happiness. It will surprise you when it happens because you won't be looking for it to happen.
And I know what you mean about just getting in your car and driving. If I had the money for gas (and a reliable car), I would do the same exact thing. I need some time away from a lot of stuff.
I'm sorry Mother's Day is so hard on you. *hugs you again*
Now I need to go get dressed, wash my hair, and get around to stream. Hope to see you later.
I still believe this wasn't a proper experiment, relying on a company to decide who matches you isn't the same as figuring that out for yourself from the thousands who join the service. There are other services that are free and you can hear from hundred of choices a day. Lavalife. For example is free to a point and at the point people just exchange msn or email info and take it out of the system and you could quite easily listen to 100's of men's bio a day and pick and choose.
ReplyDeleteSO I say don't base all your decision on this one experiment with this one company. I don't think it was an accurate assement.
Mother's Day.... I know hate it too I have three kids who won't even consider calling me today it's not a day they need something from me. and I have a mother who I wouldn't call today if you paid me. Ruth my stepmother is the only one I will talk to and for her it's just a msn message away lol.
Hugging you tight I know it's a hard day for you.